From never arguing to knowing exactly what the other thinks, the signs your relationship is in trouble aren’t always obvious. Experts reveal what to watch for – and how to get the spark back
You would think this is a sign of perfect harmony. Not so if you have stopped arguing completely. “Stopping disagreeing isn’t a sign of peace, it points to emotional withdrawal,” explains Simone Bose, a relationship therapist at Relate. It happens, says Bose, because couples are “likely protecting themselves from feeling disappointed or from conflict itself, but are becoming emotionally numb”. Clinical psychologist and Couples Therapy star Dr Orna Guralnik agrees, noting that “some people don’t argue because they’ve come to a state of acceptance of who each other are, but some don’t argue because they’ve given up. It’s a cold, detached form of not arguing – a resignation.” For Oona Metz, a social worker, psychotherapist and the author of Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women, “Couples who stop arguing even when they have major disagreements are on a collision course towards either an unhappy marriage or a divorce.” This is because “unresolved issues get swept under the rug and eventually come out in some other way”.