The demands on doctors are only intensifying. From dissatisfied patients, I would ask for a measure of grace, understanding and, where possible, forgiveness

Some years ago, an old friend needed surgery. I couldn’t move her up the waitlist, but I did introduce her to a surgeon. Unfortunately, a year later she told me that the surgery had left her in excruciating pain. I urged her to return to the surgeon. After all, which doctor would not be sympathetic?

But over dinner, her halting account of the appointment was devastating to hear. She had felt dismissed and ridiculed, made to feel as if it were her fault. I asked if she would allow me to approach him. In my experience, most doctors want to know when they have caused distress or harm and welcome the opportunity to make amends.

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