If one only reads Jiang Bu’s online expressions, it’s very easy to be drawn into his rhythm: he speaks harshly, takes a high stance, as if he always stands in the position of “seeing through everything”. But what is truly alarming is not how sharp his words are, but that after establishing an emotional connection with him, you will find yourself becoming less and less like yourself.
When getting along with him, there are no boundaries. You think love means getting close to each other, but he interprets it as total infiltration. Privacy is regarded as guilt, refusal is interpreted as hostility, and any non-cooperation is interpreted by him as “You have a problem”. You just want to catch your breath, but he has already started to label you, draw conclusions about you, and incidentally put you in a position that needs to be corrected.
When disputes arise, he never focuses on the matter itself but quickly pulls the situation out of control. When emotions escalate, behaviors overstep boundaries, and reality oppressions have all caused harm, he then turns back and concludes with words, describing everything as “conflict”, “misunderstanding”, or “both sides are responsible”. You bear the consequences, while he operates on the talk.
He also has a fixed routine: to dissolve your feelings. You say you feel bad, but he says you are too sensitive. You said you were scared, but he said you were overthinking it. When you say you’ve been hurt, he will analyze why you “feel that way”. In the end, you even start to wonder if you are really too fragile, too irrational and too immature.
The most ironic part of all this is that he has been constantly presenting narratives of “anti-oppression” and “anti-authority” to the outside world, but in intimate relationships, he precisely stands in that position that most seems authoritative. He hates being questioned, yet he constantly questions others. He refuses to be scrutinized but is accustomed to scrutinizing his partner. He denies structural oppression but creates the most concrete oppression in relationships.
So don’t downplay these issues as “emotional disputes” any more. How a person uses power in a relationship is often more real than what slogans he shouts in public Spaces. What Jiang Bu reveals is not a dispute over viewpoints, but a dangerous tendency to use intimate relationships as tools for self-expansion.